Conflicted
by Uriah's Marlene
Summary: What if Erudite never attacked Abnegation? What if the simulation attack never took place and will was still alive? What if Tobias wasn't the only one who loved Tris? What if, she could finally live? T to be safe
1. I am Dauntless

_What if Erudite never attacked Abnegation? What if the simulation attack never took place and will was still alive? What if Tobias wasn't the only one who loved Tris? What if, she could finally live?_

I am Alive. I am Dauntless. I am Free.

I am looking at the list of names on the wall and I've never been happier.

My friends – other dauntless initiates – around the room are smiling, too. I notice Molly frowning. We have passed through our fear landscapes and now, I am dauntless. I have ranked second. Uriah is first – something I'm sure most of us expected. Below me is Christina. Will ranked fifth- after Peter.

"SO," Tobias's voice calls out "CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE WHO MADE IT THROUGH. YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS UNTIL YOU MUST PICK A JOB. THEN – WELL, LIFE BEGINS." For the first time, I see Tobias smile in front of the other init—members. I suppose we're just like him now. I feel nothing to stop me from running up to him. That is what I do. I nestle my face into his neck and he wraps his arms firmly around my waist. I hear Christina and Uriah cheer for me. As they always are. Then, I hear a few confused murmurs, but with Tobias's soft breath purring in my ear, I ignore them.

I feel something hard crash against me and I realise its Will. He also has his arms around me. Seconds later, Uriah, Zeke, Christina and Marlene all have their arms around us too. Trying to make it less awkward for us. I can't help but feel thankful.

"Okay." Says Tobias. "That's enough now." He continues with a laugh. "Now, Tris and I are going to eat some Dauntless cake in the hall. Feel free to join us."

"Oh, making the decisions for her already are you?" Eric says. I turn around to see him. His lips have turned up into a sick smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Well, as Dauntless leader, I'm not sure whether I approve of this relationship."

Tobias looks at him. If I were still Abnegation, I might have cowered behind Tobias. However, I am Dauntless. I walk towards him. "Well, as Dauntless _Member _I really don't care about your opinion." I shove past him. I do not wait for Tobias to follow me."

I walk into the hall, where several Dauntless members are sitting eating various foods. I serve myself two slices of cake, overwhelmed with the desire to eat chocolate.

I go into the corner and sit on the table where I sat with Al, Will and Christina during most of my initiation. I think of Al for a second, which makes me sad. Then I remember what he did to me, and all traces of sadness are gone.

"Hey, _Stiff." _Eric says. I look at him. That is all, I do not glare at him, I am angry. 'Stiff' is slang they use for Abnegation's. I am no longer Abnegation, so this name annoys me more than it did when I was.

"What do you want?" I sigh, I cannot be bothered with him.

" Wow. Not very friendly, are we? I actually came to congratulate you. Second. Not bad for someone like you."

I look at my cake. "Eric, for someone who is supposed to be congratulating me, you sound strangely, _condescending." _ I say.

"Just, well done." He says. I hear a cough from behind him and look up to see Tobias. I feel a familiar heat spread throughout my body, then shock as Eric punches him in the face. What in Dauntless name...

"Stay away from my girl." Tobias says. I look around the room and notice that the fight has attracted the attention of everyone in the hall, including Uriah and Zeke, who have just walked in.

"What makes you so sure she's your girl?" Eric spits and throws a punch at Four. That is what he is now. Tobias is Four when he is fighting.

Four ducks it and stands up. He looks at me and my pained expression and his eyes are wide with alarm, so he totally doesn't see Eric's fist flying at him.

The second the impact hits his face, his entire body is flung into action. His jaw stiffens and he glare's at Eric, who looks rightly afraid. Tobias moves his leg, and in one sweeping motion, Eric lies on the floor. This is no longer a fight, it is pathetic. I stand up and storm out of the room, with Uriah following straight after me.

"Wanna do something fun?" He asks, once we're in the corridor. I look at him, I always go with him when fun is suggested. No one else I've ever met could better define the word.

"What kind of fun?" I smile.

He looks at me and gives me an ear-to-ear kind of grin. "Come with me."

A little while later, we are outside the dauntless compound, standing on the little grass the area has. Uriah has a football, and suggests we play pass. I've never played it before, though I am fairly familiar with the concept of it.

"Not exactly what I had in mind." I say. He smiles and says

"Well, after all the high profile, roof-jumping tree swinging fun we have, I thought we'd try normal fun. This is how Amity play. They pass the ball back and forwards between two people. It makes for good teamwork, apparently."

From the corner of my eye, I see movement. Apparently Uriah does too, as we both turn our heads at the same time. Tobias walks toward us. He has blood coming from his mouth, but other than that, he looks alright. I wonder how bad Eric is.

"Why'd you leave? You missed me beat him." He says, with a triumphant smile that I don't like.

"I don't want to see you beat him, Tobias. We both have to live with him now. What the hell were you even fighting over?" I demand. He looks slightly... worried?

"You." He says, not looking me in the eye.

What the hell? "Why are you fighting over me?" I say, hoping the anger in my voice is something only I can hear.

"That has nothing to do with you,Tris." He says, holding my stare, refusing to back down.

"Oh, really? I beg to differ. If you say the fight is over me, then clearly it has everything to do with me." I finish. He says nothing, and instead he turns away! He turns away from me!

"TOBIAS!" I shout. He doesn't listen. "TOBIAS COME BACK TO ME NOW!"

He doesn't. I am left all alone with nothing more than Uriah and the wind as I watch him walk away from me.

_Review please?:)_


	2. I am Defiant

_Short, I know. I had to move from my laptop to kindle. I'll update as soon as I can!:)_

"He just left?!" Christina shouts.

"Yep. Without any explanation. I haven't seen him since." I say, trying not to sound bothered. She knows I am. I know I am.

"You haven't seen him for two days? " She sounds sympathetic. I know she is not.

I shake my head, and lean my fore head against her shoulder, and for the first time since becoming a member of Dauntless, I allow myself to cry. It feels good and I wonder why I haven't cried yet. I think of going back to see my parents for a few days. Or Caleb. But I know I can't. I have to stay here and fix things with Tobias. I need to know we're okay, because at the end of the day, when the rest of the world was falling apart, I still had him.

Now, what do I have?

"I'm sure he's just trying to clear his head." I usually know she isn't lying, but now I am not so sure.

"Yeah." I say "Probably. Hey, can we eat?"

She nods and stands up, then extends her arm to help me up too. "So, you and Will doing anything tonight?"

"We were. I saw how upset you were, so I cancelled on him. He gets it. I'm sure he said he'd probably come round and see us."

"I'm sure he meant you." I laugh. Then I realise what she just said. "And for God's sake, do yourself a favour and go out with him."

She laughs. "Really? I don't wanna leave you..." She seems conflicted, but I know that she does want to go. As much as I'd hate it.

"Seriously. I'm going to go out with him if you don't." I joke. Her eyes laugh and she pulls me into a hug.

"Fine, but we're eating first, I'm starved."

We do. We run straight to te hall and find Will sitting on our table - with Eric. Christina and I exchange confused glances.

Why is Eric sitting with Will? Why do I feel myself being rather...? Jealous? I immediately go and sit down next to Eric – Christina is already sitting next to Will.

"Oh, Hey Bud." Eric says. What is he on? Maybe Amity bread. He doesn't have the same... Bazaar smile the Amity wear, however, he is smiling at me in a very unusual way. "Seen four around much, Tris?"

I shake my head as I sit down. I look toward Will. "So, what are you guys doing tonight?"

Will blushes "The marshes."

"Wanna come down to the marshes Tris?" Eric laughs, I see no trace of humour in his face.

As if on cue, Tobias walks into the room.

"Oh, Eric. Please, leave the poor girl alone. She wants nothing to do with you." Tobias says.

"I don't really think that's your call to make, Four." I hear myself say, surely I'm not about to do what I think I am. "You see, Eric and I are going for a walk now. Goodbye Four."

I stand up and walk out of the room, Eric following me, as I leave Tobias with his mouth open and his heart on show.

That was brave.


	3. I am Distressed

_Thanks for the follows. :) means alot. Do me a favour though, and review? Also, Whether it's Fourtris or Tris/Eric is yet to be revealed. _

_;)_

Eric is beaming from ear to ear as we walk out of the room. I instantly feel bad for what I have done. Can Tobias ever forgiven me for what I have done?

"Tris! Beatrice!" Tobias's voice comes from behind me. He looks like he's about to cry. "Don't go with him. Please. He'll hurt you. Listen to me. Don't be your stubborn self and be the you that knows she can't trust Eric. Please."

Eric stands with an amused smirk on his face. Tobias looks like he could care less about what Eric thinks. "Well... this is..."

"Shut it,Eric." For some reason he does. "Tobias, look. I swear to God, I thought we were done. I thought we were through lying to each other and keeping secrets. If you can't tell something as stupid as what you were fighting over then..." I let my voice trail off.

"I can't tell you Tris. It will hurt you." He says. This makes me worried and I look between the two boys.

"Well then we're over." I feel myself hardening up as I say it.

His eyes widen, and I swear I see a tear roll down his cheek. He takes in a deep breath and wipes his face. "Fine,but I swear you making a mistake Tris. I lo-" Eric has places a hand over Four's mouth and I run out. Why is it that I can't be in a room with him without feeling suicidal or lovesick. Maybe it was better we weren't together.

The thought caused me to choke on my tears. Had I really just broken up with Tobias? Showed me his fear landscape and real name Tobias? Gave me my first kiss Tobias? How stupid was I?

**Tobias.**

"Eric!" I shout. Tris is gone now,.nothing can hurt me. "What the hell? I don't talk to her for two days and you've already made a move on her?"

"She's clearly confused, four, or she wouldn't have broken up with you and agreed to leave with me. Move on already." Eric says. I don't like his voice, I don't even care that he could have me thrown from the compound.

"No. I love her Eric. I don't expect you to understand, you don't even know what the word means,but I won't let you hurt her."

"Why on earth would I hurt her? I can have her. Good in bed is she? Heh, maybe I should fin it myself." He snarls.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that." I say. I grit my teeth and clench my fists. "I've beaten you in the initiation. I can certainly beat you now."

"Gotta go lover boy. Enjoy wallowing in your self pity." He says, and he walks away from me as Uriah and Will walk out.

I turn around to them,hoping the tears have dried from my face. I don't think they have, but I think Uriah and Will know better than to ask.

"Dude,what was that about?" Uriah asks. I look him in the eye, I'm sure he already knows.

"Tris is gone. She... left me guys. Oh God, don't I sound pathetic. Argh, I miss her so much. She hasn't been gone thirty seconds."

Uriah takes this in. "Will,go get Chris,go see Tris. Make sure she's alright and tell her I said Hey. I'm gonna take mister ballet slippers to do something manly. Like... punch a wall."

I punch Uriah in the arm. He is dauntless born,so of course he punches back. Harder. He's right, I need to do something manly.

"Let's go. "

**Tris**

Christina and Will make a welcome appearance into the room I have been allocated until I buy a room somewhere on the compound.

"Hey, if it helps,Tris, four is down there fighting for his manhood. I doubt he'll make it." She jokes. I smile, we both know it isn't genuine.

"So, um, what should we do?" I ask, very bored.

Christina and Will exchange a look. "Well,Eric is outside,he kinda wants talk to you..."

I nod. "Let him in please."

She nods and walks to the door, pulling Will with her. She walks into the corridor and says something to Eric. He walks in and closes the door behind him. I feel trapped.

"Tris, are you okay?" He asks. His black hair now reaches his chin and covers his cold black eyes, which now seem to be showing a little green. I can't talk to him so I nod. He is wearing what he usually wears. Black skinny jeans, a long sleeved black shirt and a coat that touches his ankles. He is wearing gloves,too.

"It's just, I'm sorry about Tobias. You really don't know what he's like. He's... He's, well he's certainly not how he seemed. In training he was this big show off guy who knew when all the girls were looking at him. Now, he will just sink into a hole and ignore everything until the next initiates come along." I look him in the eye, trying to find some truth to what he is saying. I've seen him weak and strong, I've seen him protect and defy me. I've heard him say I love you and I've seen him scold me.

I am his.

And he is mine.


	4. I am Daring

"I'm sorry, Eric. I need to go and find Tobias." I mutter, more to myself than to him.

"Tris, you don't know what you're doing." Eric says. His eyes are angry but his voice is soft. It's almost an eerie calm.

"I do. I have to go and see him, I'm so-" I don't get a chance to leave, he has wrapped his arms around the small of my back and pulled me into a kiss. It's not as I imagined kissing Eric would be. It isn't cold and dispassionate, it's warm and inviting. I feel myself kissing him back.

I hear him murmur as if he's pleased and he pulls me closer to him. I run my hands through his hair and I feel his lips turn up into a smile. I realise that it's Eric, and suddenly feel the need to pull away, but I can't. I'm too caught up in the kiss.

His tongue starts to snake forward, trying to invite itself into my mouth. I open my mouth slowly, letting him inside. Then, I pull away.

I sit on the bed, cupping my head in my hands. "Tris?" Eric purrs in my ear. "Are you okay?"

I nod. I know my voice will crack if I try to talk.

"Tris, you can trust me, you know?" He says.

"I know. I know. I really, really need to go and see Four though. I need to know if he's alright." His face falls, and he looks very upset. I lean over him, so my lips are on his ear. "I'll tell you what, you stay right here, and I'll be right back, okay? We can pick up where we left off."

His smile broadens and he nods. "Okay, but promise me something?"

I smile at him "Of course."

"Don't let him kiss you." And then I walk out of the room, on my way to find Tobias.


End file.
